I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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