whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
