Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
