I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
