I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
