Where is the hickey?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
