Apparently you make a good broom.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this will be a night to untag.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
