I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
