Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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