My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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