I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
