how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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