There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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