We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
