Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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