She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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