The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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