where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
