Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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