I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
