sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
