in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Randomize
