Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
