i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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