i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
