My brain says no but my pants say off.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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