I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize