You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize