our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
