I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
