just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
