I puked a lego.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
