haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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