we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
