Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
