I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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