Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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