were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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