well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
