Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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