I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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