I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
