whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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