god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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