I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
