Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize