That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
