Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
