you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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