i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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