Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
