Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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