Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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