his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
