i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
