the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize