Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
