they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
