He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this just has baby written all over it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize