nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
