i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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