should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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