its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
