so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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