We named our party play list daddy issues
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
