Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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