Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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