She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
