He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
