We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
