If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
