TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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