This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
