He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
