Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
