Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
