another moral hangover. fuck.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
