I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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