she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
