Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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