i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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