I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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