The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
