i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
