She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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