I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
