I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
