i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
that may or may not have been my penis.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
