He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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